Thursday 29 May 2014

in the field of silent air flows

Scientific job advertising clearly went downhill since... well, since my last successful application, some time in the last century. In the olden days, when they published job ads in Nature and Science hardcopies and had to pay per word, they at least made sure the ad was concise and to the point. The title had to catch the applicants’ attention and make sense. How the times changed. Now we don’t browse, we search with keywords. That means, the employers think the titles can be rubbish and the ad will be found anyway. That’s how I found these, for example. In (previously) respectable online sources. (I did not change a single word and left the capitalisation intact.) I wonder how many of these positions are filled now, and by whom.

  • ANTI-MONEY LAUNDERING
  • Ass Professor
  • Associate Lecturer / Lecturer / Senior Lecturer in Flute
  • Associate Professor in Autobiographical Memory Research
  • Experienced Researcher for Missions to Phobos
  • Food Sensory Scientist
  • Hard Rock Geologist
  • Head of Bioprocessing (President minus 2 position)
  • Ladder Faculty in Space Physics
  • Mechanical Technician
  • MOLECULAR BREEDER POSITION
  • More Experienced Researcher
  • Plant Fellows
  • Post-doctoral position in Food Habits
  • Post-doc position in strong fields
  • Postdoc-Solid Electrolyte
  • Postdoc for Post-mortem analysis
  • Product Manager Allergy
  • Research Assistant (Anachronism and Antiquity)
  • Research engineer in the field of silent air flows
  • Researcher Specializing in Fraud & Cybercrime
  • Senior Atmospheric Scientist
  • Senior Editor, Medecine
  • Senior Lecturer in Early Childhood
  • SENIOR RESEARCHER FOR RESEARCH PROJECTS
  • Senior Very Young Learner EFL Teacher
  • Value-adding of poplar bark
  • Viral Evolutionary Biologist
  • Wood Professorship of Forest Science