business weasel words

An essential table from my desktop guide to the real world: Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel (pp. 129—132).

You can disguise almost any level of ignorance via the clever use of weasel vocabulary. Try memorizing the words on this list and using them in alphabetical order the way they are shown here.

Business Weasel Words
accountable action item alignment applications architecture ballpark bells and whistles benchmark best practice bottom line brand brand equity bread and butter breakthrough products B2B business case business units capability cash cow caveat emptor challenge change agents change management channels cherry-picking client-centric collaboration compatible compensation plan competitive advantage consumer-driven contingencies continuous improvement contribution core competencies cost-effective cost-reduction cross-fertilization cross-functional teamwork customer-focused day-to-day deliverables delta deployments desktop environment develop digital discipline disconnects disengaged distribution channels documentation dotcom e-business efficiencies empower	enterprise e-services e-tailers eyeballs facilitates faster fast track flow charts focus focus groups framework functional game plan gap analysis goal-directed goals guesstimate hardball hardware high level human capital identified implementation incentivize incremental information initiatives innovative inside-out organization integrated interactive interface internal and external functions intranet key performance indicator key strategic areas leadership lean manufacturing lessons learned leveraging line operation living document long term management consultant maximizing metrics milestones mission-critical mission statement mobile movers and shakers next steps objectives off-line operationalize opportunity	outsourcing paradigms paradigm shift parallel partner performance positioning proactive process product profitability quality quantifiable benefit real-time basis reciprocal red tape requirements reseller resource responsive results-driven revisit rightsizing risk management robust service shareholder value showstoppers software solutions specifications standardization step change strategic fit suboptimal synergies teamwork technology platforms thought leadership tools track record traction transaction flow transforming turnkey unquantifieable benefit utilizing value-added values viral vision warm and fuzzy war stories whole nine yards win-win world-class

Ugly corporate speak? Well, show me a grant application or a report that does not have at least ten of these “keywords” in it. Often a number of them are joined together in phrases like “develop an innovative knowledge resource” or “integrated platform”.